2012

Smile.

I am excited for 2012. I always like new beginnings—it is a promise of better things ahead. For sure it will be another year of roller coaster of emotions and fun experiences. I plan to make myself a priority for 2012. I think sometimes I give too much that I neglect myself. I think for 2012 I will put value more on myself and give what it is due. I always say that happiness should be self confined but how easily I forget what I preach. I don’t need someone to re-assure me that I am a good person. I just need myself to reassure myself that alone or not I am good to go.

Hugs for me.

For 2012 I will learn to love myself more. I tend to find myself for 2012, have peace of mind and self-assurance. Cherish the things I like. Surround myself with people who appreciates me. Work on things that gives me purpose. :)

Decision Making

Why is it so hard to make a decision? Choosing between options has always been a dilemma for anyone. People just cant make up their mind provided all the choices they are given. But one way or another we still have to decide-- most of it are emotionally driven, some are fun driven, some are stability driven. Although I always say that if I think twice about something it means I dont really want it that badly. Some thoughts can be right away put out in the trash bin with no effort needed while other ideas still hover and slowly get the best of me.

So a challenge came out of it: if I dont want it why does it still linger in my mind??? Why do I always end up re-considering it? Why does it became a constant thought that I re-visit once in a while?

There's no way to handle it but to either DO IT or NOT DO IT. Life is an experiment. Life should be fun. We have to choose one thing over the other and through it we learn slowly about ourself and release the thought of pondering to what might have been. If it's not great as what we hoped for then no regrets.I believe we only get confused if there's an enormous part of us that wants it. I would not say that life is a hit or miss..i think it is more of taking chances. Having the courage to do what your gut tells you--do as you pleases..let the flow take you to wherever.. =)

It's Passion Not Drama

People who really knows me definitely would not describe me as a drama queen. My personality is far off from description. I seem not to care and keep emotions out of the way. I try to play it cool and not overreact to situations. But if you are reading this blog you might think i am the ultimate emo blogger you have ever encountered. (oooh..cmon don't nod your head..lmao)

I keep everything inside. That's why I love blogging cause this is my way to keep in touch with my inner self who bears deep down emotions that I have that I tend to put aside. I like blogging because i can be a "drama queen" without the actual hassle of tears and being overly dramatic to the point annoying someone in real life.

But i dont think I can consider myself a drama queen at all..i dont mumble and rant over unimportant stuff. I would say that I am more of a passionate person who gives her all to something or someone. So when all things fail I'm the one left behind with a deep scar inside my heart. I like feeling the "feeling"--does it even make any sense!?! Oh well, it doesn't matter: i call it passion and not drama. =)

Who I Wanna Be:

I want to be the one who brightens up your day

I want to be someone to make you smile

I want to be your constant thought for the day

I want to give you the security that you need

I want to be the love of your life

I want to fill the void that you feel

I want to be there if you need help

I want to listen on your complains

I want to hug you in your despair

I want to be there to share your glory

I want to give the support that you need

I want to hold your hand when you’re in doubt

I want to be your inspiration

I want to give you a reason to dream

I want to give your happiness

I want to stand by you through thick & thin

I want to be your bestfriend

I want to help you through the rain

I want to make your heart beat fast

I want to bring out the best in you

I want to share my life with you..

Endless Possibilities

I had always been a happy person or at least I try to be. I just feel that life is too short to waste for mourning or grieving for a long time..or probably that is my defense mechanism-- I am not sure either way.

In general, I see everyday as a new day--new people, new experiences, new stories, new connections & new moments. It is just but exciting to live everyday and veer off from our old boring routine. That’s probably why I like travelling, exploring and doing new stuff I haven’t done before. Change is good. It makes me wonder what is ahead and all the good things that can happen in the future.

When I was younger I used to be idealistic, things can only be either black or white and gray is non-existent. But as I get more mature year every year my mind is slowly embracing thoughts that I would have not even entertained when I was in 20s. I would like to call it maturity or maybe stupidity-haha—I don’t even know!

What I am sure of out of all these uncertainties is that as I spend more time with myself I learn to identify who I am and what will make me happy. I know now that you cannot live life by rules.. sometimes you should just trust the flow and see where it’s going to lead you. It is nicer to be more open and get all the life moments that you can grab. We just have to learn everyday and love ourselves unconditionally. Possibilities are endless you just have to have faith in love, life and in God.