T.R.U.S.T.

TRUST is one of the vital thing in a relationship. Once it's broken for sure everything will crumble. I am not sure how to live day by day with doubt,anger and uncertainty in your heart but I guess if you love someone you are always open to give things a second chance. Thoughts never stop to linger in my head.. thoughts about the past,present and the future. It is but difficult to forgive and forget all things that happened. I don't scream, I don't cry, I don't curse.. but it doesn't mean I am not mad. Every bit of myself is upset, disappointed..and in rage BUT I CHOOSE to be a better person and not let all those ill feelings eat me alive.

I am strong. I am realistic and I am rational. I will try my best to deal with the problem and take action plans on it. If it works, great! If it doesn't then it wasn't meant to be anyway. To ask the question WHY is irrelevant. The harm has been done anyway..whatever the reason is doesnt matter anymore.

I had 5 relationships in the past and my 2nd one was the one whose a lil bit of a playboy. After I was done at him I told myself I will never ever get that kind of guy again ever in my life. I already know their pattern,behavior and their life's routine and for sure one thing I am certain about is nothing will change. After that relationship I made a conscious decision not to date a guy in the same class. It was my 1st pre-requisite. But you see life is so ironic!! Who knew..right? I didnt have a clue!!! Hahahaha..

O well..we are already here down this road.. no turning back. I might as well cross it and head to the finish line as soon as possible and not waste so much time. In my perfect world, I have a scenario of how I wanna live my life. Some aspects can be twisted but some cannot. I think sticking with someone who will give you CONSTANT trouble and worry is not worth it. We only live once and to sacrifice the quality of life because of some loser is definitely a big no no! To put up with anyone's mess is not our responsibility.. we have to make a decision which way we want to go. Is it UP or DOWN? that's something within our control.

I guess what Im heading to is that.. we can only give a little leeway for everything.If things works out..then that's a good news if it wont then there's nothing to lose. We all stride in this life smoothly and move on from one chapter to another just like that. :)